A Fragile System

I woke up around 3 a.m. to two furry little bodies snuggled next to me. It’s no surprise to find Toby curled tightly against my chest, but I can count on one hand the number of times Olive has slept in our bed in her two years. She was lying in between Aaron and me. It made me so happy to hear their purring and know they were close. I was so happy; I hated getting out of bed and disturbing our fragile system. Our days are numbered with just the kitties, and I know things will change when the baby gets here. Obviously, I’m thrilled about his arrival, but I’m a little sad, too, to think our first babies might feel less loved.

These little guys were such a comfort to me on the long nights when Aaron was on set during graduate school. I feel, in a way, like I owe them for their companionship, as strange as that may sound. There was such a difference between coming home to a silent, dark apartment and coming home knowing two friends will be there to greet me at the door, day in and day out. Aaron thinks they are able to anticipate the great change that’s about to happen in this family and are enjoying the last bit of time before it. I tend to agree, and I, too, am taking every second to enjoy life just as it is now.

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Some thoughts on a Tuesday

Some thoughts for Tuesday…

I don’t know if I want to do baby S.’s nursery in dark or light colors. This is really bothering me and keeping me from moving forward. Go ahead and tell me I need to make a decision and stick with it because you are right and I know that’s what I need to do. But I just don’t want to end up not liking it!

His name? It starts with an “S.” And it’s not Sinbad, even if that’s what Aaron tells you.

I love Coke made with cane sugar. If I could find a place that sold Dublin Dr. Pepper (Dr. Pepper with cane sugar) I would probably buy too much of it. So it’s a good thing I can’t find it here.

One thing I keep forgetting to put in my weekly updates is how much my hands have hurt lately. I wake up and they just ache until about lunch time. I read that it’s from fluid.

I had Mexican food when we were in Tyler and I have been missing it since we got back to Tallahassee. I can’t find a place here that is as good as, say, Don Juan, Posados, El Lugar no. 3, Mercados…. I guess I was spoiled for my first two decades. I miss it a lot.

My sister wrote a really sweet post about Gus last night. Can I tell you something? I feel extra guilty about Gus dying. For three of his four years, I gave everyone in my family a really hard time about him because he was wild and huge and drove me crazy when I went home. He would act bad and my dad would yell at him and the whole situation made me mad, so I didn’t like him very much. He just frustrated me. My dad and I had a joke that every time I asked how things were going, he’d say, “Gus is getting better.” Even when Gus was still a mad man, Dad always claimed Gus’ behavior was improving. Then, within the last year, he calmed down. He became a really, really gentle, sweet dog. He really was getting better, and he was fun, not stressful, to be around. I always told him (Gus) that he wasn’t as good as our old German Shepherd, Jeb, whom we grew up with and who died when I was a freshman in college. Of course I didn’t mean it; Jeb was a handful, too, and Gus was just a wily puppy. But I look back at the limited time we spent together and I wish I hadn’t said so much of that stuff, whether I was joking or not. I spent the least amount of time with Gus out of anyone in my family, and I didn’t know him like they did. I told my mom last night that I was sad baby guy wouldn’t ever get to meet Gus. I was looking forward to it.

Anderson Family Home Portrait by Rebekka Seale

For Christmas, Aaron, Jillian and I got my mom a house portrait of our family’s home in Texas by the very talented Rebekka Seale. Working with her was such a treat, and I loved seeing my mom’s face when she opened her painting. 
I love all of the details. The windows, the door knob, the light fixtures and even the double steps that someone always manages to trip over. One detail I asked to be added was Gus sitting on the porch, where he often sat while my mom and dad worked in the flower beds in the front yard. That little detail seems even more special after losing the Goose. 
If you’re looking for a special gift, I enthusiastically recommend Rebekka Seale’s home portraits, but plan to order way ahead of time, because she has quite a wait list (and for good reason)!