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I decided that my “word” for 2014 would be “focus.” Maintain perspective on the most important things (and people) in my life. Here lately it’s been a stretch to do that, but my head is up and looking forward. I can’t really ask for more than to live alongside my two littles and Aaron.

The boys and I are learning how to create and uphold routines at home that give us time to play while still allowing me to work. That’s been the hardest part about our transition to a family of four, but every day it’s a little different (dare I say easier?), and, thank you Lord, Shepherd has done so well with the transition.

He is such a doll, and I know I’m biased, but his sweet heart just blesses me. He’s jubilant in everything he does (almost), and lately, he’s become so independent. He is always asking—sometimes telling—“Popo do it?!” and it wears me out because it’s so sweet. He loves to try to fold laundry and helping unload the dishwasher. He wants to brush his teeth all by himself and climb stairs and put on shoes. He’s starting to refer to himself more with “me” and “my” instead of “Popo,” and I think the day he can finally say his own name will crush me. I’ll miss hearing him say “Popo.” He loves Wilder, and calls him “Wy Wy” or “John Wy Wy” (the “John” sounds like “Dahn” when he says it). Lately, his greatest love has been music; all he wants to do is play guitar and sing “Gone, Gone, Gone.” I think I hear “Mama sing Gone, Gone, Gone” one hundred times a day; that boy just wants to sing and dance—and to that song only. We’re working on learning new songs, but so far the only contender is “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” (and the only word he knows is “row”).

Wilder has carved this completely separate and amazingly equal part of my heart and claimed it all to himself. He’s our little bear; a tiny cub with a strong yet soft personality. He’s mostly serious, but when he shows a smile, we melt. He’s going through a “wonder week” currently, and it’s been a little rough around the edges, but I can’t not love even the hardest days (and nights) with him. Almost five weeks have slipped by, and I know the next five months will do the same, so I’m just trying to love every moment and soak it all in.

Wilder’s birth was so close to Christmas that I sometimes feel guilty for how fast I (we) experienced it all, especially because of the harsh reality of postpartum hormones. It was not all twinkling lights and candy canes and Christmas carols. But I feel like the haze has lifted and we (our family) are beyond those tough first weeks. Especially for me.

Today at MOPS we had a speaker who shared truths about marriage that really encouraged me. It was a deep topic, and a timely one, and I know it was a God thing that I left feeling so completely at peace and thankful. Thankful for my husband. Thankful for my beautiful babies. Thankful for the amazing family who took care of us and served us so well for the last month and the sweet friends who did the same through visits, meals and sweet gifts for the boys.

There’s a lot I’m going to post (when I can get a nap from both boys simultaneously), and I’m looking forward to filling this space up once again.

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